I have failed

I write this with tears in my eyes, my Lord,
   for I realized I have erred,
Not today, but many births ago, when I saw Thee
   first as a farmer in the Forest,
And I, in my greed, fooled Thee and pushed Thee
   beyond World's Edge with a sword,
So that this wretched body of mine
   may pleasure itself.

I write this with tears in my eyes, my Lord,
   for I realized I have erred,
Not today, but many births ago, when I saw Thee
   again as a scavenger in the City,
And I, with the arrogance that my Tribe alone
   held Thee in the Heart,
   slowly humiliated and broke Thee
   into pieces with my thought alone,
   and denied Thee to Thy own Self,
So that this polluted body of mine
   can have Thee all for its own self.

I write this with tears in my eyes, my Lord,
   for I realize that I err
Even in this birth, where from my home in the skies
   I see Thee as a Kannadiga
   groping for breath underneath,
And, much like earlier, ignore Thy very existence,
   knowing not that I step on Thy head
   to rise to the skies,
So that I may not be reminded of my Duty to Thee,
   while pleasuring this wretched body of mine.

I do not want to live today, my Lord,
   come, take my life today, take my pleasures away,
Push me beyond World's Edge with Thy sword,
   break me into pieces with Thy thought,
   crush this wretched head of mine with Thy feet,
For I have failed to recognize
   Thee in Thy Self.

                                                                          - Kiran

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